Hello, I'm Fhqwhgads-2! Bringing you your favorite series into my own fan fiction image! Now, you may recall that I did a countdown of the top 11 Bugs Bunny cartoons, right? Well, that was fun to do. But there is also another character Warner Bros made that had it just as big as Bugs, but not quite the same credibility as him, and that character is Daffy Duck. That guy was really good at making us laugh as well, and he was usually in a duo with Porky Pig and such. He started off as a happy zany carefree screwy character, but eventually, he turned into a more selfish, greedy, short-tempered one. Sure, he was still funny, but I just like the way he was originally made. But in any case, that duck always made me laugh.
Daffy: You'd better believe it, Fhqwhgads boy. And I'm gonna make it worth the public's while.
Me: That's right. Today, I'm counting down the top 11 best performances the little black duck had to offer. Why top 11? Because we all gotta go one step beyond. So, stay seated and enjoy the top 11 Daffy Duck cartoons.
*play Merrie Melodies theme song*
#11: Daffy Doodles
In this short, someone is going around painting mustaches on people's faces and billboards whenever possible. It could be just about anybody.
Daffy: But it happens to be me!
Yeah, it's Daffy doing it. It's a weird crime, but it is also a funny one. He considers it his mission in life, despite it being a felony. So, officer Porky Pig, disguising himself, decides to stop him.
Porky: I'm a b-b-b-booby trap.
Of course, the plan backfires as Porky gets a package from Daffy telling him not to open till Christmas, but he opens it anyway, and Daffy paints a mustache on Porky's face. This goes on with a chase scene starting in a subway where Daffy paints mustaches in a straight line on all the passengers of a subway train. He then tricks Porky into the train as a conductor...
Daffy: Hurry up! All aboard! Get in there! We ain't got all day! Push it! Come on! Let's go! Push in there! That's it!
...and paints a mustache on Porky's face again.
Daffy: Bon Voy-a-gee!
Soon enough, all the ads are covered in mustaches. It's quite a sight to see. Then he comes across one of a sexy woman and finds it intriguing.
Daffy: Wow! It's colossal! It's stupendous! It's magnificent! It'll be...my masterpiece!
And with that, he swings through the air and paints it all over the sign perfectly only for Porky to whack him with his nightstick. In a dizzy state, he goes to the edge of the building and threatens Porky that if he takes a step closer, he'll jump. And Porky does so, and Daffy jumps off only to reveal he was on the edge of the building underneath. And another mustache for Porky.
Porky: *quietly irritated* I hate that d-d-d-duck...
The chase continues on the edge of the building with Porky almost falling off and Daffy saving him.
Daffy: Very sporty of the little black duck.
And as the chase continues, Daffy is now on a moped driving around the edge. They crash through the window on the ceiling and Daffy goes on with more mustaches for the pig and ends up in the mail tube with Porky looking in there. But Daffy finds it as a federal offense, paints one more mustache on Porky, and gets arrested and sent to court where he begs the judge to let him go. The judge then decides to give the jury their verdict. The jury, made up of many Jerry Colonnas, find Daffy not guilty and Daffy is free to go...only to start painting beards instead of mustaches starting a new riot.
#10: Yankee Doodle Daffy
Porky is on his way to a golf game as he closes up his casting studio for the day if he can get to his plane in 10 minutes. But Daffy comes in with a new client.
Daffy: Hold everything, fatso!
He then unpacks Porky's thing, but not without criticizing his golfing hat.
Porky doesn't have time for this, but Daffy thinks otherwise as he presents his client. And who is it, you may ask?
Daffy: He's colossal! Stupendous! One might even go far as to say...he's mediocre! I give you that paragon of pep and personality, Sleepy Lagoo!
It's really a sleepy looking duck licking a lollipop. He demonstrates this by performing all sorts of theatrical spectacles that Sleepy could do himself by singing "I'm Just Wild About Harry", playing on a banjo, and singing like Carmen Miranda. And during those times, Sleepy holds up pictures to depict Daffy's personality. It shows that he's a ham, a screwball, and corny. Porky tries to get away only to have Daffy appear behind different doors doing Pagliacci and doing a cowboy act with Porky as his horse.
Porky then throws Daffy off of him and into a safe, trapping him inside and catches his plane in time only to find that Daffy is his pilot. He jumps off and opens his parachute which also happens to be Daffy with him slowly descending. They run around back to Porky's office.
Daffy: *singing* So don't you go and beat me, daddy, to the nearest bar! Yeah...
Daffy pulls off Sleepy's showstopper and Porky decides to see what Sleepy has in store. With that, Sleepy puts his lollipop away and sings in a strong voice...
Sleepy: *singing* Let springtime blossoms bloom again in the garden of-*gets hoarse*
And finishes in a hoarse tone.
Sleepy: ...my heart...
I'm gonna say...he's mediocre.
Daffy: Wait! That was you who went out of his way?
#9: Conrad the Sailor
Now, the title doesn't have Daffy's name in it, but it is a Daffy cartoon. It starts off with some sailors in the navy singing that they're "shoving right off for home" after a few years at sea, especially the titled character Conrad.
Conrad: And we are, too.
He notices Daffy made some webbed footprints on the deck and gets angry with that thus making his singing tone more tense.
Daffy: *mockingly* Shovin' right off again...Shovin' right off again...Shovin' right off again...Shovin' right off again...Shovin' right off again...Shovin' right off again...*normal* Pew! Is that guy awful! Gee, it makes me sock!
The first thing Daffy does that annoys Conrad is switching the mop water with paint and having him get it all over the floor.
Daffy: Very sloppy, Rosco! You're a slobberly housekeeper.
Of course, hiding in a lifeboat doesn't save him from getting clobbered. Oh, wait. Hold on.
*enter the captain as Conrad, Daffy, and I salute him as he walks off*
Anyway, he throws Daffy overboard and goes back to work. But Daffy comes back for more shenanigans, such as pretending to be a telescope...
Daffy: Swell view, eh, doc?
...standing on the ships weaponry and grabbing his neck higher than Conrad can and...excuse me again.
*captain appears and we salute again*
...and playing a little patty cake.
Daffy: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old! *pulls Conrad's hat*
Continuing with the chase, we see...again with this?
We see the chase continue into the next door with Conrad supposedly slamming the door against Daffy, but it doesn't hurt him.
Daffy: Ha ha! Never even touched me!
This continues on into a cannon that Conrad fires and sends a bullet at Daffy.
Daffy: Big bullet.
This results in the final chase around the ship as the bullet is launched with Daffy riding at first...
Daffy: Look at me! I'm a divebomber!
Get it?...and chases Conrad into the final salute. One that even the bullet can make.
And the cartoon ends. Who knows what happens after that?
#8: Daffy Duck In Hollywood
This one is one of Daffy's earliest solos, if not his earliest in all. It starts off at Wonder Pictures, where if it's a good picture, it's a wonder, as we go to the office of I.M. Stupendous, where Daffy comes in asking for a part with a duck in it, which he's refused.
Stupendous: Y'know...that duck's screwy.
*phone rings and Stupendous answers it*
Daffy: You're correct, absolutely correct!
Tell me something I don't know. He calls the director Von Hemberger to see if he can finish his picture today...and they're talking on phones right across from each other.
Throughout the picture, Daffy annoys Von Hemberger with the filming such as taking his lit cigarette and writing out "Warner Bros" with the smoke.
Daffy: Just givin' my bosses a plug.
Then there's setting up the sprinkler system with the lights and making it rain out of them, loading up ammo into the camera which makes Von Hemberger burst into tears, having Daffy give him a gift so he'll stop being screwy which is just him biting him on the nose, and kissing the leading lady.
Von Hermberger: It's r-r-r-ruined! Cut!
At lunch, he decides to have some turkey, which has Daffy underneath the platter. He then goes to the film library where he gets an idea.
Daffy: "I'll give 'em a real picture!
So he cuts and pastes different films together and switches it for Von Hemberger's picture. And Daffy's movie is played being a short film with the opening to the movie "Gold Is Where You Find It". The scene from the movie that plays has Ride of the Valkyries playing. Then it cuts to the rest of the film being black and white, such as a lion impersonating the MGM one.
Lion: *voiceover* Motion pictures...are...your best...entertainment.
Von Hemberger realizes it's not his film and starts getting terrified. The next clip is a troop of American soldiers marching to the tune of "California, Here I Come". Next we have an airplane taking off and hitting a barn door several times.
Narrator: He's off! *plane crashes* He's off! *plane crashes again* He's off! *crash*
Then there's a little jitterbug dance-off and a boxing match at a take on Madison Square Garden with the fighters just standing around not throwing a single punch.
Narrator: It's too gruesome! I can't stand it! I CAN'T STAND IT!
And finally, a swimsuit pageant with the winner being a rather large woman.
Large woman: I'm happy all over. Thank you.
And the film ends. And what does Stupendous think? He thinks it's...
Stupendous: Amazing! Marvelous! Stupendous! Colossal! Tremendous! Gigantic! Astounding! Unbelievable! Spectacular! Phenomenal! And it's good, too.
Daffy's film was like the world's very first Youtube Poop and he invented the fad. For that, Daffy is the new director and Von Hemberger is the new Daffy.
#7: Daffy Duck Slept Here
This cartoon was a good one with Porky and Daffy. Porky is looking for a hotel in town, but most of them are booked solid and he's refused. There is one hotel in town that has a room available, but he'll have to share it with another guy, who happens to be Daffy. Daffy comes by his room drunk after a long night while talking to someone who isn't even though named Hymie.
Daffy: *drunk* Now, Hymie...*hiccup* Be real quiet! SHHHHH! People are trying to sleep!
This goes into a little musical number that lasts about 20 seconds about Hymie.
Porky: And uh...who is Hymie?
You really wanna know?
Daffy: Oh, he's not much. Just a kangaroo. Just six feet of kangaroo. That's all.
Porky doesn't believe it one bit, so Daffy demonstrates by climbing into Hymie's pouch and hopping around. So, Hymie is there, just in Daffy's eyes.
Daffy: You hurt Hymie's feelings. He's so sensitive!
Of course, it doesn't convince Porky and it forces Hymie to leave, leaving Daffy bitter about it. So, they try to get to sleep, but not without Daffy having trouble understanding the Spanish and French ways of saying goodnight.
Daffy: Aw, skip it!
This goes on with Daffy causing too much trouble for Porky to sleep such as rolling the bed lever to make it shake around until it's out of gas, getting the hiccups, drinking a glass of water, spilling it to make it look like Porky wet the bed, stealing the covers for himself until he gets literally cold feet, and sticking said cold feet at him. This forces Porky to get rid of the webbed footed, no good, two-timing, double crossing, double dealing, unsanitary, old snake in the grass of his roommate.
Porky drops him out the window so he can get his rest, and Daffy then makes it seem like it's morning already and has Porky get going for his train. He's about to fall out the window and Daffy can't stand to see it. But, it turns out Porky is somehow right at the train station right outside the room.
Daffy: Say, that's silly! *pause* I should have bought him some magazines to read on the trick! *goes into "woo-hoo" mode*
#6: Robin Hood Daffy
This one has a bit of a unique intro for most Looney Tunes shorts. Daffy is firing the arrows at the target with the opening credits and is shown doing, grins, and sneaks off.
We then cut to him singing and playing the lute.
Daffy: *singing* Oooooooooooooooh, join up with me, so joyous and free, away to old sherwood, aye, for I'm Robin Hood, and I'm very good at avoid the sheriff's side, so if you're all merrily, or the greens weren't so gracefully...to trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it up and down...to trip it, trip it, *stumbles down hill and starts singing off key* trip it, trip it, trip it, etc. *falls into lake* oh, trip it up and down! *holds last note*
We then see Porky praying the role of Friar Tuck and laughing at what happened to Daffy as he keeps laughing some more at Daffy's waterlogged shorts that then have his shoes waterlogged. He then goes to get his water staff.
Daffy: Actually, it's a buck and a quarter quarter staff, but I'm not telling him.
If you say so.
Daffy: Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Perry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! *hits beak with staff*
After that little incident, we get a redo of that, and Porky stops it with his staff. They both have a good laugh.
Daffy: How jolly can you get?
After all that laughing, Porky asks Daffy if he knows where Robin Hood is, and Daffy tries to say that he is, and Porky doesn't believe him. Daffy tries to convince Porky that he truly is Robin Hood by stealing from a traveling squire's satchel of money and giving it to the poor. His first attempt is by shooting an arrow at the satchel and knocking it out of the squire's pocket. Of course, instead of the bow launching the arrow, it launches Daffy into a tree.
Porky: *sarcastically* Oh, I d-d-d-don't know how I ever -d-d-d-doubted you. Shall we spend the gold all in one place?
Daffy: *sourly and with tree on him* Ho ho, very funny. Ha ha, it is to laugh.
His next attempt is swinging on a vine down to the squire and snatching it with his bare hands. He swings!
Daffy: Yoiks, and away! *hits a tree* Yoiks...and away! *hits another tree* Yoiks...and away...
Of course, that goes on a few times and he chops down all the trees and gives it another go.
Daffy: Now then...Yoiks, and away!
He swings down, clears all the parts where the trees used to be, and smacks into a rock.
Porky: *singing* In Scarlet Town, where I was born...there was a fair maid dwellin'...made every youth cry well-a-day...her name was Barbara Ellen...
Daffy's next attempt is with a giant iron ball that just smacks him into the mountainside and crushes him.
His last attempt is a giant spear that he launches and gets caught in a chasm as a small bridge for the squire, then he jumps in front of the drawbridge and gets crushed letting the squire pass through. Because of this, Porky is convinced that Daffy is not Robot Hood, and Daffy decides to join him instead.
Daffy: Shake hands with Friar Duck.
*iris out on Daffy and his pointed up beak*
#5: Duck Dodgers In The 241/2th Century
Daffy, as the fearless space voyager Duck Dodgers, is on a mission to travel to Planet X and collect enough of the shaving cream atom known as Illudium Phosdex. He and his eager young space cadet, played by Porky begin to take off, but, uh...
*the rocket goes underground*
Daffy: Whoops. Had the silly thing in reverse.
After they really take off, Daffy makes some really confusing coordinates to Planet X and Porky has a better idea of following coincidentally similar planets with different letters on them. They get there only to run into Marvin the Martian.
Marvin: Isn't that lovely?
This goes into a little war between the two of them as they try their best to get rid of each other. Such as Daffy's disintegrating ray literally disintegrating itself, Daffy sending a message to Marvin to surrender or be destroyed, Marvin firing back a real bullet at Daffy and Daffy sending another bullet flag reading "Ouch!" Of course, they both blow up the planet together and stand on what's left of it.
Daffy: As I was saying, buster, this planet ain't big enough for the two of us. So...*shoves Marvin off* Off you go! And now, this planet is hereby claimed for the earth in the name of...Duck Dodgers In The 241/2th Century!
Porky: *hanging for his life with Marvin* B-b-b-big deal.
#4: The Scarlet Pumpernickel
Daffy is fed up with all the comedy out there and wants to try something more dramatic and talks to it with his boss J.L. He has his own drama called "The Scarlet Pumpernickel". It even shows that his middle name is Dumas.
Daffy: "Once upon a time..." great opening, huh?
I guess so.
Daffy: "Once upon a time, in merry old England, there lived a daring young highwayman known as the Scarlet Pumpernickel. The Lord Highchamberlein's men could not stop this handsome young desperado, for he was slippery as an eel and smart as a fox."
*the Scarlet Pumpelnickel hides under a cliff upside down and the men fall off*
Lord Highchamerlein, played by Porky, orders Melissa to stay away from Scarlet. He has an idea to bring SP out by having the Grand Duke, played by Sylvester, marry Melissa, which he likes and she doesn't. Scarlet disguises himself as an unknown traveler to attend the wedding. During this time, Daffy is getting a little tired from his story but keeps going. The wedding is to take place tonight and be arranged right away, so this leaves Scarlet to go into action, jump out the window, and miss his horse.
Scarlet Pumpernickel: That's funny. That never happens Errol Flynn.
He makes it to the castle and crashes the wedding with Melissa crying for help and running out with Scarlet at the same time.
Scarlet Pumpernickel: So what's to say?
As Daffy gets more exhausted, he keeps going. They make it back to the inn where Scarlet has to leave but knows Melissa will be safe. He jumps out with a parachute, something Flynn didn't think of. The Grand Duke arrives at the inn to rest only to find Melissa there and proceeds to continue with the wedding until Scarlet arrives to battle him.
Daffy: You ain't got a chance! I'm the hero of this picture, and you know what happens to the villain!
Sylvester: So what's to know?
The fight ensues and Daffy runs out of pages for his script without coming up with an ending. So, as J.L. asks for what happens next, Daffy makes up a bunch of stuff like a storm breaking out and destroying a dam, the cavalry arriving too little too late in the flood, a volcano erupting, and the price of food skyrocketing. J.L. asks if that was all, and Daffy, exasperated with all his work, decides that he live out his last idea: the Scarlet Pumpernickel blows his brains out. And Daffy does the same.
Daffy: It's getting so you have to kill yourself to sell a story around here!
#3: A Pest In The House
Due to a labor shortage, anyone and anything was hired to work for the sake of duty. Daffy is a bellhop in a hotel and a guest is staying for the night. He's going up to room 666, and the guest wants Elmer that he's really sleepy and to make sure that everything goes perfectly quiet because if he's disturbed, he punch Elmer in the nose.
Daffy: "Likable little chap, isn't he?"
Daffy throws to the main his own luggage and carries it up to the room where he goes through different keys until he gets the right one. The man drops his luggage and is treated like the bellhop when he's supposed to be the guest. He sees Daffy going through his luggage.
Daffy: *wearing a hat* Pee-yew! What a ridiculous bonnet. Never come back in style! Never!
The man gets in bed and tries to get some sleep, but as Daffy leaves, he puts a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door by nailing it on the door and hits the guy in the head by accident. The man goes downstairs and punches Elmer like he promised. Next thing, Daffy opens a window to let in some air, but there's so much city wind and noise going on the man shuts the windows. Next, the guy in the room next door is singing while drunk and Daffy decides to shut him up for the guest. But instead, he joins in on the fun and disturbs the guest, making him punch Elmer again. The next scene is Daffy scrubbing a window while singing loudly. Then he notices a speck stuck to the window.
So what does he do? He starts scraping it with his fingernail, or feathernail in this case, and disturbs the man again. This time, he punches Elmer through the telephone.
Daffy then goes on about a joke he heard and has to tell it to the man. It starts with a traveling salesman coming to a farm to show his goods. We don't know how it's set up as the man goes downstairs to punch Elmer again, who has a knight's helmet on, but the man opens up the mask of the helmet and punches Elmer anyway. He goes back to the room as Daffy's finishing the joke and forgets what the salesman said for the punch line, but loved it anyway. Elmer arrives to keep it down, but the man punches him yet again.
Soon, he thinks it gets too cold and decides to turn the heat up. But the heating vent doesn't heat up enough to him, so he runs downstairs to the boiler room to heat things up. Elmer has a bad idea of how it would end, so he rushes back up to stop the inevitable by covering it up with pillows. But that doesn't stop the whistle from blowing like crazy, so he covers it up so it doesn't disturb the man. But what does is what Daffy says.
Daffy: So, a fine kettle of fish! Here I work myself down to the skin and bones trying to keep this guy asleep and what do you do? Blow whistles! Just when I got things so quiet you can hear a pin drop, you bust in here and bust out with a whistle and you snafu the whole works! How in the name of all things reasonable do you expect a guy to get his slumber when a goof like you goes around making noises like a one-man 4th of July celebration?! He needs peace and quiet! It's positively outrageous!
This is where the man goes berserk and decides to promote Daffy to be the manager and take his place as bellhop just so it'll seem like Daffy will get punched. But the man sees at the right away and hits Elmer again.
Daffy: "Noisy little character, isn't he?"
#2: The Great Piggy Bank Robbery
Daffy's waiting for the mail to arrive. And this is the one time you hear him say Sylvester's catchphrase.
Daffy: Sufferin' succotash! Why don't it get here?
The mail soon arrives, and as he goes through the bills and junk mail, he gets what he was waiting for: a comic book. It's the new issue of Dick Tracy.
Daffy: I love that man!
After a little dramatic look at the comic, he sees the ending and is excited to know it ended well. Then he punches himself and goes into a dream where he's his own Dick Tracy known as Duck Twacy. After playing a game of Pin The Tail On The Donkey, he gets many calls saying that their piggy banks were stolen. Though he doesn't really see it as much of a crisis. But he finds out his own piggy bank has been taken as well.
Daffy: It's gone! My piggy bank's been stolen! Oh, agony! Agony!
So, he decides to take the case after all. He starts off with bumping into Sherlock Holmes.
Daffy: Scram, Sherlock. I'm workin' this side of the street.
He then takes a train to the villain's hideout with serendipity on his side. He thinks that if he rings the doorbell, there will be a trapdoor on the doormat. So he rings it from afar, but still falls into a trapdoor.
Daffy: Was that trip really necessary?
Yes. Yes it was. So, he looks around for clues, picking up footprints, walking on walls and ceilings, and trailing lamps. Isn't that...impossible?
Daffy: Nothing's impossible to Duck Twacy!
So, after a couple of minutes looking around, he has a run in with parodies of Dick Tracy villains and some original ones as well. They are Snake Eyes, 88 Keys, Hammerhead, Pussycat, Batman(as a baseball bat), Double Header(a baseball pitcher with two heads), Picklepuss, Pumpkinhead, Neon Noodle, Jukebox Joy, and Wolfman.
They chase after Daffy and another villain, Rubberhead, who has a pencil's eraser for a head, literally rubs Daffy out by erasing him.
Daffy: *getting erased* Fantastic! And furthermore, it's unbelieva-*gets erased and appears in another door* -ble.
Pumpkinhead fires his ammo at Daffy only to get bombed with a grenade and have his head made into fresh pumpkin pies. All the other baddies tackle Daffy who slithers out of the closet, traps them inside, blasts them with a machine gun, and kills them all. Except for Neon Noodle.
Daffy: NEON NOODLE?!
They tussle it out and Daffy makes an "Eat at Joe's" sign out of him. Then he finds the piggy banks inside and his own.
Daffy: My own piggy bank! *kisses it* I found you at last! *warps back to reality* My own little piggy bank.
Yes, the dream's over and he's kissing a real pig in a waller who takes it very well making Daffy go crazy.
Pig: I love that duck!
And the #1 Daffy Duck Cartoon is...Duck Amuck.
Many of you all remember this short very well. Daffy is trying to get a cartoon going around, but the animator keeps screwing everything up for him. It's the biggest fourth wall break from the last century that we all came to know and love. In fact, this cartoon was so popular it was made into a game for the Nintendo DS. In fact, I think I can act this out as if I was watching it and playing it at the same time. *holds out DS stylus* Observe.
Daffy: *in musketeer outfit* Stand back, musketeers! They shall sample my blade! *fights and wonders off into blank background* Musketeers? En garde? My blade? *walks off set* Hey! Psst! Whoever's in charge here.
Daffy: The scenery! Where's the scenery?
Me: Oh, right. Hold on. *draws in farm set with stylus* There we go.
Daffy: Stand back, musketeers! They shall sample...my...blade? *unimpressed*
Me: What? I like the idea of a farm cartoon.
Daffy: Okay. Have it your way. *changes into farmer outfit and sings* Daffy Ducky had a farm. E-I-E-I-O! *walks into arctic set* And on this farm, he had an igloo! E...I...E...I...O...*talking* Would it be too much to ask if we could make up our minds? Hmm?
Daffy: *gets into skier's outfit and skis* Dashing through the snow! Ya-ha-ha-ha-ha! Through the fields we go! *skis into tropics* Laughing all the Way...yay...yay...yay...*changes into hula outfit* Farewell to thee, farewell to thee, the wind carries back our sad refrain Yeah hey hey hey hey hey! One last embrace...*stumbles into blank background again* before we say-
Me: Yeah, I ran out of ideas.
Daffy: Buster, it may come as a complete surprise to you to find that this is an animated cartoon. *starts getting erased as I yawn* And in animated cartoons, they have scenery. And never in all my years have I-*gets erased completely* All right, wise guy, where am I?
Me: Hold on. *paints him in as a cowboy*
Daffy: *shrugs, starts playing, hears nothing, holds up "SOUND PLEASE!" sign*
Me: All right. All right. *adds sound* There.
Daffy: *starts playing with guitar making weird sounds; breaks guitar; picks pieces up, tries talking and starts making more weird sounds until he loses his temper* AND I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN ALL MY LIFE! *calms down*
Daffy: Look, mac, just what's going on around here? Let's get organized, hm? How about some scenery?
Me: Fine, if it'll make you happy. *draws badly drawn city in pencil with stylus* Done.
Daffy: *sarcastic* That's dandy! Ho ho! That's rich, I'll say! Now how about some color, stupid?
Me: *starts painting him* A little bit of this, and a tiny bit of that, and...there!
Daffy: NOT ME, YOU SLOP ARTIST!
Me: Well, you should have been more specific. *erases false coloring*
Daffy: Well, where's the rest of me?
Me: *draws him in weird body* You know, Daffy, you ought to take this easy. It's not like you're living up to your contract anymore.
Daffy: It isn't as though I haven't lived up to my contract. Goodness, no. And goodness knows it isn't that I haven't kept myself trimmed, goodness, no. I've done that. That's strange. All of a sudden, I don't quite feel like myself. Well, I feel all right. And yet, I...
Me: *draws in mirror* You may wanna take a look...
Daffy: *sees himself* EEEEEK! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!
Me: Sorry. *erases him*
Daffy: *unseen* Well?
Me: *draws him as a navy sailor* How's that?
Daffy: Hm...sea picture, eh? I always wanted to do a sea epic.
Me: Well, here's your chance.
Daffy: Now, Mr. Rembrandt, if you'll kindly oblige with a little appropriate scenery...
Me: You got it! *draws in ocean with an island in the background*
Daffy: *singing* Over the sea, let's go, men! We're shovin' right off, we're shovin' right off-*standing over ocean* again? *falls in and swims to island* HEY! COME HERE! COME HERE! GIVE ME A CLOSE UP! CLOSE UP!
Me: WHAT? WHAT'D YOU SAY? *lenses into his small spec* I CAN'T HEAR YOU! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Daffy: A CLOSEUP, YOU JERK! A CLOSEUP!
Me: OH! OKAY! *zooms in onto his eyes*
Daffy: Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.
*cut to Phineas and Ferb Busters*
Jenny: I lied about the persimmon.
Daffy: Now, look, buster. Let's try to have an understanding.
Me: Nah. *drops blackout onto him*
Daffy: Now what?
Me: *draws stick in* Try holding it up.
Daffy: Oh brother. What a way to run a railroad. Now then, as I was saying...
Me: *drops blackout some more*
Daffy: *tries holding it up; gets crushed; tears it to shreds* All right, let's get this picture started!
Me: *iris out to THE END* All done.
Daffy: NO! NO! *pushes card back* Listen, pal. Let's discuss this thing sanely, huh?
Me: All right, what have you got?
Daffy: Look. I tell you what You go your way, and I'll go mine. Live and let live, right?
Me: Sounds good to me.
Daffy: Right. Ladies and gentlemen, there will be no further delays, so I shall attempt to entertain you in my own inimitable fashion. *starts tap dancing until screen splits* Now what?
Me: Sorry. It's the DS effect.
Daffy 2: What are YOU doing down there?
Daffy 1: Down HERE? What are you doing up THERE? Down here... *gets grabbed by Daffy 2* Look, bud, if you wasn't me, I'd smack you right in the puss!
Daffy 2: Don't let that bother ya, Jack!
Daffy 1: Okay, buddy! You asked for it!
Me: *erases Daffy 2*
Daffy: *throws punch and spins around*
Me: *paints him as a buzzboy* Try this one.
Daffy: Oh brother. I'm a buzzboy. *takes off in plane*
Me: *paints mountain* Ricola!
Daffy: *crashes into mountain* Uh-oh...time to hit the old silk. *jumps out* GERONIMO! *opens chute*
Me: This will be cruel, but I can't resist. *erases chute and replaces it with an anvil crushing Daffy*
Daffy: *hitting anvil with mallet as he's dizzy* Under a spreading chestnut tree, the village smithy stands...
Me: *erases anvil and draws a bomb in its place*
Daffy: The smith, a might man as he with large and sinewy-*blows himself up*...hands. *loses it* All right! Enough is enough! This is the final, this is the very, very last straw! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! I DEMAND THAT YOU SHOW YOURSELF!
Me: Ugh...*paints door*
Daffy: WHO ARE YOU? HUH?
Me: *closes door* Ain't I a stinker?
Of course, Bugs was the guy who did that to Daffy originally, but I felt like playing his role.
And there you have it. The top 11 Daffy Duck cartoons. That fine feathered friend of ours has given us some great hyucks over the years, and we all know that deep down, he loves doing what he does best. Sure he has those times where he doesn't feel as respected as some other Looney Tunes characters, but he is still just as good as any of them and just as important.. So, Daffy, even if you have some of the worst luck in the world, you'll still always be there in our hearts. And I'm sure your bosses would be proud. I'm Fhqwhgads-2! Bringing you your favorite series into my own fan fiction image!
*fade out; dA logo*
Daffy: Noisy little character, isn't he?